Inspired by my Bing search, I decided to search for popular opinions about Google - from Google.
I didn’t even highlight any because they’re all weird.
The top suggestion is Google is God, which is a little scary, especially since it’s immediately followed by Google is evil.
Then there’s Google is your friend, which sounds like either a quote from Finding Nemo or a hypnotic chant.
Then we have Google is Skynet, which … might be a conspiracy theory.
Next is Google is down … which kind of dumbfounds me, because if you’re searching this on Google, it’s obviously not down.
Then Google is awesome, which is very sweet and kind, followed immediately by Google is making us stupid. Honestly, I believe them both.
And then we have Google is a number. This is actually the truth - “google” is the term for a number with a one and then a hundred zeroes: 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
…Ugh, I can’t believe I just typed that out. I have no life.
This is followed by Google is gay. This one makes me mad for so many reasons.
One: Google is a search engine. Search engines do not have a gender. Therefore, Google cannot be attracted to search engines of its gender when its gender does not exist.
Two: Gay is not an insult. It is especially not insulting to a company that has spent a heck of a lot of money towards achieving gay rights.
Three: There is no reason for people to be attempting to insult a search engine, which does not have feelings. The only thing these people are doing is making themselves look like hypocrites, because the only thing they have to do all day is to mope around and insult a search engine.
The list goes on from there, but I’ll stop now.
And finally, bringing up the rear is Google is racist, which … I don’t even … look at the doodle they have up. I don’t think they’re being racist.
So. That was fun. What should I search and rant about next?